Lyrics:

Sleeping by yourself at night can make you feel alone
Your girlfriend said so but I don't really know
That don't mean we fucked around
That night last week when you left town

Was tweakin' by myself one night, that's when I wrote this tune
Didn't have no need for that bed in my hotel room
Sometimes right now since I've left the pen
Feels like I'm right back there again

Sometimes I pray
Waiting, waiting for some bright holiday
So I bought myself a gun
And I'm right back, right back where I'm from

Sleeping by yourself at night can make you feel alone
My girfriend said so, she's a little ho
That don't mean I fuck around
I like to keep that higher ground

Sometimes I pray
Waiting, waiting for some bright holiday
So I bought myself a gun
And I'm right back, right back where I'm from

Ohhh, don't tease me
Ohhh, don't tease me
Don't tease me, ohhh

Sometimes I pray
Waiting, waiting for some bright holiday
So I bought myself a gun
And I'm right back, right back where I'm from

So Ive had this song in my head for a few weeks now.. well mainly the first four lines.. I really like this song but love the pointed nature of it.. As this year has progressed I found myself growing up and going through that whole "maybe I'm an adult now" phase.. Looking around wanting new things.. different things.. So recently Ive been talking myself into opening up and being more accessible.. I dont know if it will work but I needed to get this song down on record.. Ill write later...

College Musings...

I blame the tone of this blog on Radiohead.. a long morning on the treadmill.. and not sleeping for more than an hour in 24.. (you've been warned).. Lets start with a song..


So you thought I would lead with something like "Creep" or something of that nature but no.. This song makes perfect sense for the meaning of this blog.. Lets see if you can keep up.. This morning while taking the Express bus across campus I found myself listening to Radiohead.. Which isnt new since I decided I wanted to hear their whole catalog this morning.. Ive been back into this whole running thing and when I run I listen to harder and faster music.. Todays choice was Nirvana - In Utero.. So as I was leaving the gym I needed something to relax me and made the mistake of choosing this Radiohead Catalog.. Its not that it isnt good or relaxing.. The issue is.. Its kind of depressing.. Well anyway.. I was on the bus and watched as a group of students started discussing class and their sororities/frats and the different events of the weekend.. I watched with much interest because they were all non-traditional students like myself and yet still find themselves immersed in this college lifestyle.. I found myself feeling even more gloomy than the overcast that I was staring out into.. Dont get me wrong I dont find myself to be frat material but I feel like Im missing the point of college.. I feel like my ability to make friends has diminished and I feel myself talking less everyday.. See most people think you learn everything in the classroom while at school but in my humble opinion that is not true.. The most valuable lessons seem to be learned with your peers.. The discussions, The experiences, The stories.. And yet here I am looking at a graduation date with none of that to show for this long and stressful journey.. Ive made a few friends along the way but I may end up knowing two of the five for the rest of my life.. I just feel like this all may have been the biggest waste of time and money.. But then again I realize that I chose this lifestyle and for the most part caused this whole anti social movement.. It may have been this past weekend but I feel like Im growing in weird directions.. and its not really helpful.. Whatever as Thom Yorke would say.. "I do it to myself.."

Zack and Miri Make a Porno, while making me think...

So its been awhile since Ive last written and it usually goes like that.. A complete rush of posts then I get burnt out and all writer's blocked.. but today I saw something that made me write.. I went to see the new Kevin Smith movie... "Zack and Miri make a Porno.." It was pretty dope and funny, if you have the time and money you should definitely check it out.. It was outrageous to say the least and if you are faint at heart or ultra conservative it may leave you feeling uncomfortable.. but this isnt a review now is it?..
The reason I am writing about this movie was the experience of seeing it.. See I am a moviegoer.. I go often and usually with someone but it seems that lately Ive been rocking by myself.. And not out of lack of partner.. just because sometimes you just want to get lost by yourself.. and thats what movies for the most part do.. you get lost into someone else's life, problems, fantasies, desires.. and so on.. for those two hours (usually) you're no longer you, you're you watching someone else be something else.. Whatever your problems or thoughts are, are usually forgotten while you enjoy not thinking.. But todays movie was more of a test of wills.. I never thought a kevin smith movie about pornos would be so dateish.. and never did i think i would wish someone would be with me.. I always catch myself trying not to conform into this whole relationship crowd.. but find myself in that crowd.. the issue with zack and miri was the same issue ive been having.. "the whole friendships and being platonic." because as i was watching that movie i couldnt help but to think of "the friend" and how much she may have enjoyed that movie.. even though she wanted nothing to do with seeing it.. and also wondering if she would get why it would have been awkward.. but at the same time I was glad she wasnt there because it would have further sent the wrong idea of intentions to her and somehow i would have been self conscious about her thinking i knew the plot and set it up.. see i wish i would have known the plot but i didnt.. i have this strict belief in never reading reviews before seeing a movie.. ever since i saw movies i hated loved by critics and movies i loved hated by critics.. i feel the same way about movies that i feel about everything else in life.. form your own idea.. never be swayed.. youll end up losing out in the end.. i was gonna write more but that seems like a good enough ending.. later homes