"Pull over theres a reason why my souls unsound... Its you"
Garden Grove by Sublime
You ever meet someone bad for you? probably so bad it kind of makes you feel good to be around them.. As you get closer you know that the probability of success or happiness dwindles but it makes you want them that much more.. Because it seems like the reward would be so much greater if success was met... If you caught that lightning in bottle and had one of those long crazy happy relationships.. I think thats what most people expect... As humans we crave that companionship.. But as selfish beings we are ok with searching for that perfect partner.. that perfect situation.. in the end most settle for the closest to it.. sometimes people find it.. but whatever moot points.. It just seems that in my life im drawn to the ones that are far from right or conventional..
This is just my thoughts on the day...
Saul Williams - Surrender
"Well, there're two ways I can say this. And one would be: fuck you! And there're no two ways around it, because one would be untrue. Because I love everything about you. But I don't want to be around you. If you control my heart will you control my brain? If I give in to you, will it still feel the same? 'Cause I want nothing more than to be here with you. If you fulfill my dreams, will that fulfill you too? I need a second. I need a second to think. Now, the other way to play this would be mellow, light, and, cool. Poetry and meditation. Higher ground and higher truth. Because I love everything about you. But I use everything to doubt you. If you control my heart will you control my brain? If I give in to you, will it still feel the same? 'Cause I want nothing more that to be here with you. If you fulfill my dreams, will that fulfill you too? I need a second. I need a second to think. I found the spot where truth echoes and know each beauty mark by heart. But I just can't keep her still enough to render perfect art. 'Cause the truth is ever changing and although she loves my touch, I've had my way, but I when I pray, she kisses back too much. And it's hard to feel real gangster when you're always getting kissed. But you jump at every pucker, 'cause your fear of getting dissed. I try not to fight the parts of me that want to kiss her back. Egos should be illegal. Mine just don't know how to act. He tells me I don't need her. I should walk this path alone. She's make believe. She's up my sleeve. I'd do better with a clone. But could it be? It seems to me that she's my other half. My inner-tarzan monkey girl, raised mainly by giraffes. And besides she makes me laugh. 'Cause deep down I think she's stupid. But deeper down, I'm just a clown starting bar room brawls with cupid, like, "Fuck that naked baby angel, yo! And gimme 2 more buttery nipples". And God just re-invents herself as ice-cubes in my ripple. "
Thursday, January 17, 2008
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1 comment:
"b/c it seems the reward would be much greater if success was met.."..in my experience in this situation, success cannot be met-you can come real real close, and for awhile you might even think you got it-but it won't last. and when its over, whatever it was, it will hurt, probably real real bad too-maybe even life-changingly bad..yet, not bad enough to make you regret it. b/c that journey to the top, or that short stay up there, it will be amazing. probably one of the best times of your life. so dont over analyze, my friend..dont let this hold you back. b/c altho i have cried and yelled over him more than i thought possible, and i hate to 'say' this or even type this, shit even think this, i think it was worth it..b/c for that time, life couldn't have gotten any better.
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