train ramblings

So as usual I'm waiting for a train heading to that usual place of employment and realized after my last blog displaying my new interest in updating this thing I just stopped.. I'm not gonna lie I've found other outlets at getting my thoughts out while still maintaining social connections.. You can find me on twitter using my link twitter.com/mfdash.. Okayplayer boards the illcommunity.. And idealist.com.. Are all places I'm sharing my thoughts and what not so my whole reason for blogging has taken a back seat to the instant gratifaction that comes with conversing with people in live time.. I've also been on this whole get my ish together mission hoping that in the end it will make me a better option/person for the rest of the world to have/share/notice.. See I've always had this lack of confidence while maintaining a cheery outlook on my face in false extrovert personality.. But as I get older the want to be fake or apease people have dwindled to the place where I feel if you don't like me I like you less and could care less.. But today while on this crowded platform I went back to my usual standby of people watching.. Since its free for students this week the platform is more crowded than I would like with all these youngins heading for a night of debauchery in nyc.. So of course I'm judging different mofos and spouses/whatnots while looking at the regular commuters and noticing similar expressions of anoyance/disgust/and mingled intrigue.. Through these observations though I've noticed that my lack of confidence/game will lead me to be single for the rest of my life.. One of my twitter friends agreed that we are in the age of corny mofos with bad chics.. But this is an epidemic that needs to be studied.. I don't understand how this is happenning it makes even a cynic like me believe there is someone for everyone and at the end of the day all one may need is confidence because mofos is killing me right now