The Best Break Up ever

Ok this blog is when my jerk comes out.. If you have high opinion of me, or don't believe me when I say I can be shady.. I'm sorry.. I suggest you skip this one... This past spring I had a very weird relationship.. It was weird in the sense it didnt make much sense to me or anyone involved in the process or lives of the people in the relationship.. my friends hated her but decided I should stay with her because she was "my best chance of having a video chic" (courtesy of easy e) but their reason for hating her was valid.. she came off as though she was really mean spirited, spoiled, stand offish, clingy, and demanding... granted she was a variation of each of these she really wasn't that bad of a person all the time.. towards the end like in every relationship these were over blown and came out in extreme ways she was still sweet.. like the time as we left my house after she spent a weekend there she asked a room she hardly talked to, "did i pass the requirements to join your circle?".. it was fun.. and even more so I questioned daily why she bothered with me.. look my self esteem is a little far from low.. but she was out of my league... and believe me I was told daily by friends, coworkers, guys at restaurants, people on trains, the old guy from oz, and many more random people, and usually people might find this offensive but I didnt, it was kind of fun.. also she had better options, obviously, but I mean I knew of guys who were brokers who were chasing after her... in the end I dont know if they caught her while with me or directly after but they definitely did at some point.. The reason I know this is the reason for this blog.. To me this is the best breakup ever..
So we were at the end of our relationship and things were just horrible we only communicated through texts and what not.. and even then conversations were not for the faint of heart.. but for some reason we always met up and went out and what not... So we were making plans for Jamaican food in the city and were planning how to meet up.. so i offered a plan and she pulls let me check my schedule for the night i'll call you back... after about and hour and a half waiting I was like whatever your schedule is not that big Im out.. (hence the jerk in me).. so I go out and she calls me and i tell her Im out and she was effed for not calling me back.. (i needed to divert) she flipped and was like I better meet her where we said and what not.. see i dont really take well to these terrorist demands so i say no.. and go back in the club as I walk back in the song "Poison" was on... the Bel Biv Devoe song for all you younguns out there... so me being the man i am I text her the famous lines:

" It's driving me out of my mind
That's why it's hard for me to find
Can't get it outta my head
Miss her, kiss her, love her, wrong move you're dead
That girl is poison
Never trust a big butt and smile
She's dangerous
Before I start to leave fly girl
You know 'cause in some portions
You'll think she's the best thing in the world
She's so fly, she'll drive you right out of your mind
Steal your heart when you're blind
Beware she's schemin', she'll make you think you're dreamin'
You'll fall in love and you'll be screamin' dreamin' "

(thank you google mobile helping drunk people twd even more arrogantly and annoying)
At this point I go back in the club and drink myself stupid.. feeling free.. at one point she texted me a question mark.. I requested the song on the juke box and played it over the phone.. and then told her "Im done"... (no this is not the greatest break up ever) at this point I dont know how I made it home but I did.. and I go and attempt to sleep it off.. I wake up the next morning and realize what I have done and call her to apologize.. (if youre wondering why go back to the first paragraph).. and she plays it cool kind of blows it off like it isnt a big thing.. she even said the choice of song was perfect.. so as i get to where we both worked I meet up with some of my co workers that im friendly with.. and they tell me how said girlfriend dressed extra nice today.. which usually meant.. videoish.. and they say how shes in a better mood than usual.. so im like cool lets go say hi but as im going in shes leaving.. she tells me she couldnt stay because she had an engagement but came in just so we could see eachother.. at this point a crotch rocket pulls up with this dude on it.. the bike was white of gray with purple letters on the side that said "Poison".. I swear on all thats holy this happened and she turns and he hands her a helmet and she jumps on the back giving the finger as she left me standing in front of my work building with at least three co workers... that mightve been the greatest breakup ever.. even at that point as she pulled off i called her on her cell and left the message saying "damn that was awesome".. inside my pride was hurt way more than my heart.. I was actually relieved.. you know.. shit happens.. i still get made fun of about this.. but I thought it was funny as hell and still do.. especially now.. I cant lie though I did act like a child that night when she called and I told her i refuse to talk to a butterface.. hey I never said I was quick.. whatever I hoped you enjoy..later homes
Enjoy the Video in honor of a debo like no other from a true