Penny for a Thought.. How about a nickel for a Soul.. Oh you're GIVING it AWAY good MONEY

Ever wake up suddenly and just think WTF? Not in the "I can't believe I'm awake" way but all of the things in your life just hit you like some crazy realization... That happened to me a couple of hours ago and I wasn't even asleep.. The last month has been so crazy and fast that I never truly realized the things I've jumped in and the current situation of my life.. I am three semesters from completing a 5 year goal, I am working in the industry I always wished to work in, I am learning from first hand experience by being thrown to the fire and tested daily,(which to me is the only way to learn and only makes you better)and I am finally happy and content with the way school turned out.. But still I feel like my soul lost one.. Whereas the rest of me has won.. I feel kind of empty.. In many ways I feel like this is that self destructive, scared to fail side, the part of me that keeps me changing majors and moving in the circles that I do.. Where I know this is somewhere I can win.. Im still scared of it being all for nothing.. I think that attitude is usually why I succeed because I am willing to do all I can to win.. Whatever I dont want to sound ungrateful because Im not.. its the complete opposite ITS THE FEELING of not feeling like you belong or are behind>> but i think its more that i am finally realizing my blessing and accepting it whereas years ago i would have run from it>> but as the blog says maybe i do deserve this because "god loves ugly" "on my eric benet shit fuck everything"(joking) later homes